Follow @Sarah_Easson Instagram

shreksforthememories:

the other day i freaked myself out a little because i thought i saw someone walking up threateningly towards me in a mirror but it was just my own reflection and i kept laughing bc it was literally just

image

(via prince-not-as-charming)

(Source: sandandglass, via easiest-a)

causeallidoisdance:

grim-doll:

ottermatopoeia:

mattniskanenseyebrows:

OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK

image

OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
image

OCTOBER IS TOMORROW

image

T O D A Y I S T H E D A Y

image

(via zackisontumblr)

weedjoke420:

she’s beauty and she’s grace, she dropped her phone on her face

(via watchoutforthequietone)

therealgingerjedi:

this will never not be funny

(Source: sandandglass, via highclasssoccermom)

fuckinggirlpower:

for someone who hates boys i really really like boys

(via foodless)

PSA

  • Things that exist: Bulgarian culture, Spanish culture, Canadian culture, Ukrainian culture, Swedish culture, Dutch culture, Basque culture, Austrian culture, French culture, Portuguese culture, Bosnian culture, Irish culture
  • Things that do not exist: "White culture"
  • Things that exist: Honduran culture, Indian culture, Japanese culture, Mongolian culture, Venezuelan culture, Moroccan culture, Egyptian culture, Iraqi culture, Cherokee culture, Jamaican culture, Korean culture, Bangladeshi culture, Shoshone culture
  • Things that do not exist: "PoC culture"
  • shrek one: BEST
  • shrek two: the funniest movie i have ever seen. literally one of the funniest comedies of all time. incredible pacing and dialogue. reference jokes that were actually funny. surreal world that was so modern fantasy it actually worked. rocking score. awesome scene set to "i need a hero" being sung by the villain unironically and completely played straight. a bar of villains. just overall the best concepts ever.
  • shrek three: bad
  • shrek four: bad
  • me at home: i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
  • me going away: I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN

allthingshyper:

suncross:

punned:

i get bloody noses a lot and i can usually feel it about 30 seconds before it starts dripping. today in class my nose started to bleed. but right before, I turned to this very religious boy who sits next to me and whispered “hail satan” as my nose started to drip. he freaked and fell back and hit his head. he had to go home for the rest of the day.

image

image

(via kansasplates-kaz-2y5)

caseyanthonyofficial:

Me when I see one leaf turn vaguely orange

caseyanthonyofficial:

Me when I see one leaf turn vaguely orange

(via smaugthesleepy)

hermionejg:

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.

Someone get this lady a book deal because I want to read Tolstoy length books by her.

(Source: bellecs, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

(Source: springfieldusa, via teen-derp)

thedoctor-hasthe-sorcersstone:

SO TODAY IN CLASS THIS GIRL ASKED
“DO YOU SHIP KIDS?”
AND AFTER EXPLAINING WHAT SHIPPING WAS, THE TEACHER RESPONDED,
“well….yes, we talk about it in the staff room. Who would look cute with who…”
AND THEN WE HAD A FOLLOW UP QUESTION
“does it affect seating?”
“Sometimes,”

(Source: sherlock-the-dalek, via colonelwayne)

truezodiacfact:

We’re adults and we get to decide what that means: The Home Depot Edition

truezodiacfact:

We’re adults and we get to decide what that means: The Home Depot Edition

(via thats-so-meme)

theme by lovegoods powered by tumblr